PBTB V: ABCs & 123s

Ha! Nearly typed !@#s instead of 123s on the title. That would have been quite funny!

After much tossing and consideration, we've decided to pull Mathena back on going to "formal" schooling for next year. Of course many of the reason is of no fault (oops, have to run and collect my laundry from the sudden rain) of hers. We decided that because I have been so slack with her home education, I really have to put in more effort before we allow her out in the big bad world. The other reason is, since she is a September baby, in Australia, she'd be held back 1 year in hope that she's more 'mature" before she starts school. This is also to prevent the child from being too bored with an extention schooling life. We strongly believe that kids will learn faster or slower accordingly and we DO NOT want them to have a bad attitude in education before they reach 7. In total opposite to the Singapore current, she'll have to wait and spend more mommy time with me.

Will reconsider the situation again in June/July 2007.

Mathena's ABCs are in progress. She's suddenly taken a HUGE interest in wanting to trace-write her letters. It amazing how humans are so quick to learn, she's pretty much got the idea that she's to fill up one page of "writing" as neatly as possible and move on...to the colouring bit. Not that I can remember much, but I do not recall Letitia having such zeal this early but on the same note, Letitia knew all her ABCs by now. Mathena is still guessing her way but very happy to be taught/corrected. Her favourite letter is now M and L (which are their names) and she's wanting me to teach her chinese ("Chern-ying-chee"). Mathena has made up in her own little mind that saying her name IS speaking chinese!!

Work in progress!

On the news level, the HAZE is back!! Sheesh! We've just managed to have 2-3 days of haze clear days after the rains. It's still drizzling nearly every afternoon but we've got the dreaded "burnt" smell in the air. Alex is coughing quite badly and my own throat has decided to join in in sympathy. Letitia's deep in the rehearsals of her school year-end concert and will be performing this Sat at the church hall 2-4pm. On a "BAD mommy" note, I sent Letitia to school without a water bottle and she was in near tears because of it. We were running late (she was dee-lee-day-lee-ying) and I left it on the table. Will look forward to a dehydrated and grumpy girl. Mathena was very active in bashing a fellow playgroup girl when I went to pick her up. This opponent was another strong headed 4yo who keeps insisting in pulling M's hairband as well as pushing M. Lovely day!

We found a DANCE school

Let's take a break from parenting (yeah, as if that's possible!)

All you moms must think I am CRAZY doing the dance thing again.... well! I have found a school running at the community centres (cheaper) and been established for more than 30 years. The even better news is, it's on a bus path, during the afternoons, having Letitia's class immediately after Mathena's AND, concert held only Bi-annually!

Check this one out:
http://kavanaghdance.com

It runs on an Aussie (?) programme and this time, I get to recycle some of the costumes (poor Mathena!)

AND....drum-roll...ta-dah!!!! Mathena had her FIRST ever "trial" lesson this afternoon and she did EXTREMELY well, keen to tippy toes, to point, to step, to bend her knees etc. She's been "Can I tell you something?" the whole afternoon/evening to everyone she meets. Yes, little M, your day has FINALLY arrived. Congratulations!

Pics of them in the outfits next week...we were wearing everyday wear today.

Parenting Back to Basics (PBTB) IV: Is there EVER enough?

Today, I took a little trip on Letitia's school bus with Mathena to visit L's Kindy. This has been a long delayed trip to touch base with the school staff. I went there to ask about Mathena's schooling choices for next year and to also find out about a "Kid's Christian Camp" over the holidays...

Amidst 20 rowdy kids, I overheard the more "mature"(6 year old) kid's conversation. Popular G hops on bus, seats near the cool and noisy boys (B).

Boy: Hey Girl, do you know I have SIX dollars?
Girl: So what-leh? I have SIX million dollars!
Boy: SIX Million? Wah, so many. What are you going to do with so much?
Girl: I told my mommy that I will be able to buy her anything she likes and even a BIG house.
Boy:...(by now speechless!)...
Girl: You know, everynight I have to work sooo hard! I get money from my mommy when I do ALL my homework. I get Maaarr-neee-leh, you know? So I am rich!

My apologies if non of you understand the above conversation as I was trying hard to depict their Singaporean "Sing-lish" which in itself deserves it's own dictionary. Are you shocked? I was... I was desperately trying to think of a way to tell Letitia to stay AWAY from the B and G!!

How do we train contentment? I seem to struggle with this myself.

I cracked myself silly last night when towards the end of our dinner, I noticed that I have yet AGAIN finished everything on my plate. I have been told several times that the KEY to loosing weight and keeping "supermodel-like" is to only eat HALF the portion on our plate. Ha! I licked my platter clean and ALSO had 1 qtr of Alex's steak! FAT chance of me EVER loosing weight!

What's this fixation of keeping slim anyway? I have often portrayed myself as a lady quite confident of her own body and shape. I smirk at the weaker ones who exercise 24/7 to stay trim thin and tort. I am actually no different, just LAZY!

Kids are not happy with the boxes of toys they have around them. They are not even happy to hear of others better off than themselves. We are forever wishing we looked a bit better (at least I am), slept better and lived better. If these kids can't get enough out of life, it's because WE are never satisfied. The grown ups strive for a better home, a nicer car, a higher paying job, the most advance technology and the ultimate holiday trip. The little ones aim for more friends, more toys, more "yes" for all their little requests and the ultimate PS2 game score.

This is me:
Ecclesiastes 4:8
There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. "For whom am I toiling," he asked, "and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?" This too is meaningless— a miserable business!
Ecclesiastes 4:7-9 (in Context)

There's a better way...

Philippians 4:11
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
Philippians 4:10-12 (in Context)

Philippians 4:12
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
Philippians 4:11-13 (in Context)

1 Timothy 6:6
But godliness with contentment is great gain.
1 Timothy 6:5-7 (in Context)

1 Timothy 6:8
But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that.
1 Timothy 6:7-9 (in Context)

Hebrews 13:5
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."
Hebrews 13:4-6 (in Context)

This is a sobbering reminder to myself. In all honesty, this is a tough act to follow....but it is the BETTER way. Our day-to-day struggles can be so much more simpler. There will be so much LESS "Can I, May I, this and that?!?" and there will be so much less striving. This is my prayer. I am learning to do this:
Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:5-7 (in Context)

Parenting Back to Basics III: First Things First

How "uncool" can one get? Monkey mom carrying monkey child!

Monkey family at Orang-Utan exhibits!

For those die-hard friends waiting to get a pic of of Alex and myself, I have some terrible news. The last pic we took with just the two of us was back in September last year. The latest one of us as a family was this Sept at Mathena's birthday-do and I looked REAL bad! So, you will not get to see it. Instead, I've decided to post pics of us separately with the kids (someone had to hold the camera!)

Why all the drama with the "couple" photoes?

Well,...tonight we went out and did what all parents should do. We went out without kids, for dinner, for each other, just because!! No, it was neither of our birthdays and we were not celebrating! It's been a looooong while since we've gone out as a couple to just enjoy each other's company for the very reason of just being together. It was nice.

Been feeling real "low" last couple of weeks and figured that I would love to have a nice dinner with Alex (without the cooking) without the girls. To the disappointment of the two girls (they don't enjoy being left out!), we arranged for a babysitter, got the entire evening routine-d out and had them in bed by 7.30pm. I went off to meet Alex after work.

In the good ol' days of Wollongong, we were so blessed to have a huge church and friends support that we can easily pick up the phone to have our girls looked after while we go for our fortnightly (if weekly) "date". It's a HUGE ask even then as we had to pay for babysitters and for dinner. As a result, quite often, we just went out for dessert, for a car-ride or just somewhere "nice" for a drink. Yes, those days are long gone...and we have to start all over to find our new network.

So what happened tonight? Wanna know the goss?

Well, not much really. I get to choose my own dinner for my own tastebuds. I get to eat it while it is still piping hot. I get to talk to Alex uninterrupted. I get to even browse at the menu for "optional extras" just in case I was still hungry after. I ordered dessert and...

I asked for the kid's menu. Was firstly handed the CAKE menu (Singapore service), but later got what I wanted. Found the colouring section of the disposable paper menu and started doodling my "art". Huh?!? Okay, it was very therapeutic for me...to be doing artwork in a nice restaurant as a young wife with his loving husband. Alright, I do admit I looked kinda "weird" but I am here to blog about it. I lived it, I loved it.

I am home happy that I spent the last 2-3 hours hmmm-ing at my husband's ideas, dreams and visions. I am happy that we did not start a "revolt" against the Singapore taxis (one of his ideas!) I am happy that we held hands, we walked GODZILLION miles trying to get to Suntec City. I am happy that I came home to a quiet and peaceful house, girls all tucked in bed with no reports of any drama. I am the happiest because I am STILL married to the same man I first dated more than 12 years ago.

Go ahead...try it guys! It'll work wonders to marriage (or your blogging at least!) Let's put FIRST things first. The night is still young....

Is that "zzz, snort, zzz" I hear next to me?

Parenting Back to Basics II: Table Time

This can be called anything you'd like it to be, really! As long as it involves your child sitting and doing an activity and having a lovely time concentrating and with minimal supervision from you. This concept is NOT new, many of you will know this as "playpen time -GKGW" or room time or whatever from whichever source you are familiar with.

We have since revolved this to table time as I prefer the idea of my kids on the table either playing or doing school work. We do all the other "play" things in the play area, we read in the bedroom and the living room sofa and we sleep in our cots/beds (oh yes, cots are used for "cool off" times too!)

The idea of this table time is twofold with 2 different types, I used them both.
1) When we finished with our morning readings and cuddles in the sofa. I will (try) to set Mathena up on our dining table with some playdough, or sheets of paper and crayons, or some complicated building block-type toy. She's really into "writing" now as she's inspired by her older sister. She basically just trace all the ABCs from a book and then colour all the related pictures. This goes on for 30-45mins. On a BAD day, we struggle with 5mins. The idea is that I choose her activity, I choose the timing, I choose the ending time. I also get to clean up my kitchen, hang up my laundry, read with Letitia, put another load in the machine and get Letitia ready for school etc.

In theory, the content is not as important as the concept/idea. I have been pretty successful with this with Letitia and she now uses this time to achieve her less likable "homework" and tasks done. There's never a whinge, never a blink as we've been doing it since she was 2yo.

Errr, working on Mathena, at the moment!
2) Playtime: For kids it's mostly play. I even find that Letitia appreciates a lot of winding down on her own when she arrives home from Kindy. The Kindy is LOUD, LoUD, LouD!! She just sits and picks up book after book to read and unwind. She has occasionally asked me to quit with the talking and questions. This is her...

Mathena on the other hand needs a bit of a boost with me spending some playtime with her for about 5-10mins. I will allow her to choose her "tool" (more often than not, it's colouring AGAIN!), I will get her started and encourage her bold moves and her wonderful work. Then, with a kiss, I will make my exit. Here I am off to my computer, my vacumn cleaner or my other load of laundry, while I put the kettle on to fix my second glass of ICED tea for the morning.

Errr, she's only managed 10mins where ideally it should also last 45mins. Sigh!

Set my goals and work at it.. did I tell you that my Mathena is a budding artist? She's very good at mixing the colours and still within the boundaries. She concentrates with all the energy her little eyebrows can pull together. She refuses EVERYTHING that gets in the way...except maybe, ice cream!

Parenting Back to Basics I: I've Lost it!

Okay, this article took me a total of 1 week to finish. I had to force myself down but often got side-tracked by my lovely man of the house (he switched on the dreaded tv!).

It's been more than 3 mos that we've moved here now....I am clearly seeing a lot of things and found that I have truly lost the plot. I really have to get my act together. As my aspirations and plans for the girls have somehow taken a back seat and little Mathena is missing out big time. I am starting a "parenting theme" to help myself get back on track as a working parent..

First allow me to define "working parent". Unlike the term where we actually get paid while we work and later go home to BE parents, my meaning is "A parent who works proactively to better the character, heart and mind of the child. This is done via preplanned days and routines, indoor-outdoor activities, down-times and lots of hugs/kisses involving hours and hours of time with the children"...quote: self!

These are my hopes and directions (things that are meaningful to us as a family) but I have found that I am seriously lagging behind:

1) Getting some "table" time into Mathena:
This involves getting her to sit next to me doing what she likes but also doing the stuff that she loathes. We've GIVEN her the run of the house and she has been granted TOO MUCH choice. So this little princess seems to be getting her way, whichever way suits her. This is a BIG no-no in our family structure and boy, have I got a lot of work to do!!

2) ABCs and 123s:
Typically the first child in each household has been given the "genius" treatment where he/she gets crashed course in all the wonderful world of education and learning. We have a little Miss Perfect in the making but lagging far behind is little Miss Bo-Peep! No 2 keeps loosing her sheep and is NOT able to count pass 3. Even the 1,2,3s are a little mixed up and when asked to count, she'll reach 3 then turn into a rendition of "h,i,j,k,..Ela-mana-pee..." (figure that one out?!). Shame, shame. shame as a mom!!

3) School systems
Remember the past few months where I worry and stress over getting Letitia into a good school etc. Well, it seems that schools here are not really as "wonderful" as it's cranked out to be. REALITY hits the ground, I still desire for the girls to be "schooled" but I am sooo dissapointed with the lack of control, discipline, knowledge and quality she's had to faced. Letitia is not questioning any of the system one bit. She's stress with the kids that's all... I am yet to find a level of involvement where I can still fully be in control with her educational journey. Sigh! I have failed in this area too,...and using "educational" tv as my substitute. Sigh!

4) Parenting Courses
Coming to Singapore, we've been very keen to start up our own family ministry following the GKGW system. But we are yet to touch base with the other "links" and settle into church. We have however decided to stay on with a nearby church call ARPC and see how we go. I am however not "moved" by any one sermon or speaker yet. Could it be my heart is not opened enough? Could it be I am a bit to "up myself"? From the above points, I really have no right to be snobby. I have been using Alex as my excuse, "He's been sooo busy!"

5) Household
Okay, all under control but still can't keep the haze and geckos at bay. Each morning, we wake with a whole new layer of oily soot on our floors plus the added bonus of gecko splash-works (gross!). So, I have NEVER been so dilligent at mopping before and I have resorted to wearing home slippers to keep the black feet at bay. P/s My toilets get cleaned once a week, how cool is that???

How are things with the gang?
We've been well though a round of sick bug has hit Alex big time (sickie today). The girls are spending 50/50 of their time together cuddling AND punching each other. Actually it's more Mathena punching Letitia. Letitia's real excited about her coming school concert where she'll be dancing on stage. I am feeling a lot better after a big CLEANUP pedicure. Phew!

Polluted vs Hazey

Singapore's air quality ...
Can't see!

Can See!

Haze-filled day!

Normal Day!

Club MED (Turtle Style)

These guys are only slightly bigger than an Aussie 50c coin. They are now VERY responsive to seeing us mainly because they think we will give them food. Every so often you can here a "ke-tummb" when one of them dives off the driftwood either by accident or for fun (surely it is so as it has happened too many times!)

This is the "Paradise for Terapins". The front spanning double A4 in size and the landscape changes each water change. There's underwater caverns to swim through, high altitude of a driftwood to climb, rocky platform to dive from, lots of water current to keep trim not to forget the everflowing falls from upstream! Sigh, how I wish I am a terapin/turtle/tortoise!

Hairdresser Mathena

Check out how serious little M is with her task of combing Letitia's hair.














There's always one happy to be the hairdresser and another happy to be the "thai-thai" (A lady fo leisure in Chinese!)














We are REALLY concentrating here....

Update!

It feels like it's been ages since I last "talked". We've had the whirlwind visit from my family and I was surprised that it took me that long to recuperate. Must be AGE!!

We are back into the swing of things and had our very first case of BAD haze over last week. The API here was up to 143 and it went down (thank goodness) after 24 hours. All hospitals and nursing homes were put on "standby" as this is truly a unhealthy condition for us all. The CHAN girls felt the sting in their eyes and just had itchy coughy throats as a result. The winds of change here helps clear it on the odd days but we've lost our Singapore city view through our living room window for a while now. We are praying for RAIN every night!

This is our favourite means of transport- A maxi taxi! It fits up to 8 adults plus the driver comfortably.
Mathena's favourite "Saturday Night Fever" pose. No idea where she gets it from!














The girls at their favourite pastime!








I thought this will be amusing!
Waiting for our lift, a big part
of our life.

Introducing Ming-Ming & Tuck!

Okay, we've kept this secret long enough! The Chan family has succumbed to the pull and lure of the animal Kingdom. Blame Steve Irwin, blame Animal

Tuck Enjoying the Sun!

Planet (Cable tv), actually blame ME! I left Alex and the grandfather to their own devices with the two girls for too long while shopping for vegetables and fruits in the produce market!!

So here's Ming-ming and Tuck. Named fondly after the pets in the children programme "Wonderpets" by my girls. They have a nice "landscaped' environment with rough pebbles, driftwood, rocks and stones AND flowing water fall as their filtering system.

Ming-Ming is the adventurous one, very attracted to humans while Tuck took a while to warm up to us. They have both finally settled and is eating well (turtle stick food).

Ming-ming climbing Everest!

A family Time

The past 10 days, we actually played host for the first time in Singapore. We had my dad here the first 2-3 weeks of our arrival but we were just finding our feet. We did not do much apart from settling in.

We had my dad and cousin Audrey over and this time, we all had a ball. I took them around to nearly all the familiar places and Audrey even took me around Orchard for a spot of window shopping. Thanks for the yummy steak lunch as well.

The girls were spoilt rotten and had sooo much attention from our guests. They will now start to experience "cold turkey" with the withdrawals. Mathena has been waking us asking for Ee-ee and wonders "why?" she is in Malaysia? It was indeed lovely and memorable. The pics shows the highlights.

Thanks Kong2 and Ee-ee Audrey for the visit. It has been a wonderful 10 days and we all felt refreshed and happy. The girls will miss you both but they now have lovely memories to recall.