Now, before anyone conjures up images of a bunch of ladies prancing around town,
party mood and without reservations, allow me to explain that this 'Ladies Night' (LN) is
entirely and altogether for a different purpose.
Being a parent of 2 girls, we've been reminded again and again our God-given role
and responsibility to bring them up as GOD's intended gift to the world
around them. To achieve this, we have to preserve them long enough so that their
hearts and minds can be vessels for GOD's work in His kingdom. Many times, I've
been given the burden plus the prompting that we are parenting, not for our own
glory, not for the country and even more, not for ourselves.
Hence, my cooking up of LN.
My happy 9yo, thoroughly enjoying this special time with mommy!
After much trembling, seeking and praying, I came up with this idea to regularly
take my girls out (working on No 1 first!) with the intention to talk and discuss heart
to heart, mother to child about life, about growing up and also about the many 'deep'
personal issues little girls face when they are growing up.
(Some will call it the feathers & the stings, get it?)
Anything crafty and fun!
I am recording this in our blog as it is a HUGE milestone in our lives. For one thing,
this series of discussions are been too loooong delayed and it is heart wrenching to see and know
that our girls are growing up. Another reason for doing this, is also to encourage other
moms to take this challenge to recapture and preserve their girls for as long as they
possibly can. It is about building the trust, the relationship and the foundation so that when the girls need a place of solace to run to, mommy can be their choice companion.
Having fun with bubbles!
Just in case anyone is thinking that we are living in some sort of bubble and we
have some weird idea of keeping our girls in a crystal cocoon. We are NOT! What
we are merely doing is taking back and acting on our rightful responsibility as
parents to teach into our kids, our values, our morals and mostly, what the Bible
(and what we believe GOD) wants us to have and know. Doing nothing is letting the media and the world 'teach' our kids. Doing nothing is giving way to letting
the children take opinions of other people's values. We don't want to do NOTHING!
Letitia is my cuddle-girl. She never gets enough of it, phew!
My greatest fear is that one day my girls will no longer believe that I love
them, GOD loves them and they are heading for the '2nd best' (compromise) in life.
I am praying that my time with them will allow them into my thoughts, my heart
and build trusts/confidence in them. I want to walk alongside them as they
learn to stand up against the corrupted values they confront each day. I want them to
know that no matter how tough life gets (gets into trouble?), my love for them means that I will not desert them. The consequences will still follow but
my time and my support and my cuddles will heap on.
She's the happiest when we hang out as a family.
Now, how is LN done?
Firstly, set and make the commitment to regularly go out (once a 2-3 week)and take turns planning. I have asked Letitia to bring a notebook (top secret
for her eyes only) along for her to take notes and thoughts down. We'll chat
firstly about any concerns brought up during school life. Eg. why were the boys
so into pictures of naked ladies (are you shocked the the exposure your 9yos
are getting at school?), why do other kids watch the 9pm chinese adult soap
series etc. Then, I will prayerfully talk about her, what she is going through now
as a 9yo child physically and what to expect. From basic biological views to
physical changes. I am covering only 1-2 points (I relate them together) and
I know it's enough. It's information overload and the notebook allows her to get back to it during the week to ask/write questions or thoughts she needs to talk about or share. The time required is about 2 hours, inclusive of some food (of course! Thanks Monica for your reminder!) plus somewhere quite private and not too noisy.
One of Letitia's favourite food: 小龙包 （Steam Pork Dumplings)
Letitia chose the restaurant and we went to a nearby Din Tai Fung. She was happy to just slurp at the dumplings one at a time. It is quite a joy to see her enjoy her food (I was told this will all change when they get figure conscience) and hoping that she'll always have a healthy appetite. Come on, she's hardly overweight, right? There's room for expansion!
As I'd like to end the evening with something fun, it's not hard to search for fun and simple activities to do. Walks, crafts, ice cream/dessert are some. This allowed us some winding down conversation and I will mentally remind her of our love (as parents) for her and that she can come to us, anytime and for ANY reason.
So there. My records of this new journey with Letitia. Mathena will get her turn when she turns 9yo. Meanwhile, I am already praying and thinking of the next topic and thoughts to chat about (been reading 2-3books at the same time) and also thinking of a nice 'quieter' place instead of the one like Din Tai Fung. Friday nights may not be the choice too as the restaurants are packed and everyone's hungry! On this note, I want to encourage ALL moms I personally know, to start thinking about what 'plans' you have, what direction you (and your husband) have thought of with regards to talking to your children about the birds and the bees. It does not have to be just ONE talk. It does not have to be a lecture. It does not have to be like the above. It however, has to be a deliberate EFFORT. It also has to be a lifestyle, an attitude and mostly the relationship (parent with child) has to be built and built SOLID too. It still rings in my head, the words of Josh McDowell when he shared in our church, 'TRUTH without relationship leads to REJECTION, RULES without RELATIONSHIP leads to REBELLION, Discipline without RELATIONSHIP leads to Anger!"
Pray for our next LN!
party mood and without reservations, allow me to explain that this 'Ladies Night' (LN) is
entirely and altogether for a different purpose.
Being a parent of 2 girls, we've been reminded again and again our God-given role
and responsibility to bring them up as GOD's intended gift to the world
around them. To achieve this, we have to preserve them long enough so that their
hearts and minds can be vessels for GOD's work in His kingdom. Many times, I've
been given the burden plus the prompting that we are parenting, not for our own
glory, not for the country and even more, not for ourselves.
Hence, my cooking up of LN.
My happy 9yo, thoroughly enjoying this special time with mommy!After much trembling, seeking and praying, I came up with this idea to regularly
take my girls out (working on No 1 first!) with the intention to talk and discuss heart
to heart, mother to child about life, about growing up and also about the many 'deep'
personal issues little girls face when they are growing up.
(Some will call it the feathers & the stings, get it?)
Anything crafty and fun!I am recording this in our blog as it is a HUGE milestone in our lives. For one thing,
this series of discussions are been too loooong delayed and it is heart wrenching to see and know
that our girls are growing up. Another reason for doing this, is also to encourage other
moms to take this challenge to recapture and preserve their girls for as long as they
possibly can. It is about building the trust, the relationship and the foundation so that when the girls need a place of solace to run to, mommy can be their choice companion.
Having fun with bubbles!Just in case anyone is thinking that we are living in some sort of bubble and we
have some weird idea of keeping our girls in a crystal cocoon. We are NOT! What
we are merely doing is taking back and acting on our rightful responsibility as
parents to teach into our kids, our values, our morals and mostly, what the Bible
(and what we believe GOD) wants us to have and know. Doing nothing is letting the media and the world 'teach' our kids. Doing nothing is giving way to letting
the children take opinions of other people's values. We don't want to do NOTHING!
Letitia is my cuddle-girl. She never gets enough of it, phew!My greatest fear is that one day my girls will no longer believe that I love
them, GOD loves them and they are heading for the '2nd best' (compromise) in life.
I am praying that my time with them will allow them into my thoughts, my heart
and build trusts/confidence in them. I want to walk alongside them as they
learn to stand up against the corrupted values they confront each day. I want them to
know that no matter how tough life gets (gets into trouble?), my love for them means that I will not desert them. The consequences will still follow but
my time and my support and my cuddles will heap on.
She's the happiest when we hang out as a family.Now, how is LN done?
Firstly, set and make the commitment to regularly go out (once a 2-3 week)and take turns planning. I have asked Letitia to bring a notebook (top secret
for her eyes only) along for her to take notes and thoughts down. We'll chat
firstly about any concerns brought up during school life. Eg. why were the boys
so into pictures of naked ladies (are you shocked the the exposure your 9yos
are getting at school?), why do other kids watch the 9pm chinese adult soap
series etc. Then, I will prayerfully talk about her, what she is going through now
as a 9yo child physically and what to expect. From basic biological views to
physical changes. I am covering only 1-2 points (I relate them together) and
I know it's enough. It's information overload and the notebook allows her to get back to it during the week to ask/write questions or thoughts she needs to talk about or share. The time required is about 2 hours, inclusive of some food (of course! Thanks Monica for your reminder!) plus somewhere quite private and not too noisy.
One of Letitia's favourite food: 小龙包 （Steam Pork Dumplings)Letitia chose the restaurant and we went to a nearby Din Tai Fung. She was happy to just slurp at the dumplings one at a time. It is quite a joy to see her enjoy her food (I was told this will all change when they get figure conscience) and hoping that she'll always have a healthy appetite. Come on, she's hardly overweight, right? There's room for expansion!
As I'd like to end the evening with something fun, it's not hard to search for fun and simple activities to do. Walks, crafts, ice cream/dessert are some. This allowed us some winding down conversation and I will mentally remind her of our love (as parents) for her and that she can come to us, anytime and for ANY reason.
So there. My records of this new journey with Letitia. Mathena will get her turn when she turns 9yo. Meanwhile, I am already praying and thinking of the next topic and thoughts to chat about (been reading 2-3books at the same time) and also thinking of a nice 'quieter' place instead of the one like Din Tai Fung. Friday nights may not be the choice too as the restaurants are packed and everyone's hungry! On this note, I want to encourage ALL moms I personally know, to start thinking about what 'plans' you have, what direction you (and your husband) have thought of with regards to talking to your children about the birds and the bees. It does not have to be just ONE talk. It does not have to be a lecture. It does not have to be like the above. It however, has to be a deliberate EFFORT. It also has to be a lifestyle, an attitude and mostly the relationship (parent with child) has to be built and built SOLID too. It still rings in my head, the words of Josh McDowell when he shared in our church, 'TRUTH without relationship leads to REJECTION, RULES without RELATIONSHIP leads to REBELLION, Discipline without RELATIONSHIP leads to Anger!"
Pray for our next LN!
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